


Cheese Strats

by Bifteck F Buttford (bigbuddyb)



Category: Glitch Techs (Cartoon)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bad Puns, Canon-Typical Violence, Choose Your Own Adventure, Condoms, Consensual Sex, Cosplay, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Multiple Endings, Negotiations, Oral Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:13:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigbuddyb/pseuds/Bifteck%20F%20Buttford
Summary: Just some casual, transactional, sex between best buds.
Relationships: Miko Kubota | Me-K.O./Hector Nieves | High Five
Comments: 23
Kudos: 11





	1. Raffle Ruckus

**Author's Note:**

> **Disglamour:**
> 
>   * **Caution!** This fan-fiction contains a significant number of stupid puns and references. They are all bad, but only one was bad enough to be cut (a Yoshi reference during the cunnilingus) without being replaced with something worse. The baddest in the final draft is a _River City Ransom_ reference; if you haven't played RCR it will be very off-putting (if you have played RCR there's a good chance you know what it'll be).
>   * **Don't try this at irl.** For entertainment purposes only; not to be used as a model for relationships romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between.
>   * This fan-fiction is **multiple choice** , and not at all six chapters long. There are a few branching paths (one), and even some dumb "Choosyventure" style non-endings.
>   * I don't know how old the _Glitch Techs_ characters are, they're probably of age, right?
>   * Minors, GTFO. Develop your personal weird sexualities in the real world like normal people.
>   * Apologies to all _Glitch Techs_ cast and crew.
> 


"Omigigosh Five get over here you gotta see this!"

Despite her request, Miko herself dashed to an arm's length away from Five before grabbing and dragging him the rest of the way to her. She shoved the company newsletter she'd been barely skimming in his face and read the one item to grab her attention directly in his ear. "'Next month's top-five scoring techs will be entered in a raffle to win... an official not2B outfit from _NeaR:Autoerotica!'"_

"Ow. Huh? What's the big deal?" He tried to shake of his whiplash.

"Top FIVE, Five!" she started excitedly jogging in place, "We can make that easy, especially after Mitch got busted for sending dicture pictures to those underage cops! Then me an' you are two out of five, we're practically GUARANTEED to win! It's the actual official not2B outfit they used in development valued at 400,000 yen! " Grabbing him around the waisted she hoisted him up and spun them around in joy.

"Please put me down. That's great, but did you even play that game?"

"No I spent that whole year in _Link to the Legend: Breadth of the Wilderness_. But her outfit is _so_ cool, and I'd look _soo_ good in it!"

"Yeah, I guess that's true..." Five had completed that game, and spent probably as much time online watching very unofficial... ' _f_ _an animations'_. He was downplaying his interest a bit. "Couldn't you just use your gauntlet for cosplay? If that outfit's not in there I'm sure Ridley could mod it in for you. I've been thinking, we kind of have our own secret post-scarcity economy, what use are luxury goods like that? What are the real limits of plixel technology?"

"Well for one thing real clothes don't lose their charge and leave you all nekkid."

"Touché." Five tried not to picture his best friend 'nekkid'. Not in public.

"COME ON, let's get a head start on next month!" She dragged him off to find a new glitch to hunt.

"That's not how months work." 

By the night of the drawing Miko's enthusiasm had subsided somewhat. The initial hype died out, several other passing fascinations had come and gone, and a few life lessons were learned. She and Five still made sure they qualified for the top five prizes, and Miko was by far the most excited in the small jumpsuited crowd gathered for the raffle (most were there for the free food).

"Alright. Congrats Bergy, enjoy that fabulous all-digital grand piano. Very... nice. Very large." Phil was bringing his best forced enthusiasm. "The next fabulous prize they had lying around somewhere goes to first runner-up, the sexy anime costume from that one game a few years ago! The winner, please?" BITT deposited a small bingo ball in Phil's outstretched hand. "Five!"

"Yeeeaah!" Miko executed a flawless celebratory shoryuken before pummeling a few more imaginary foes representing loss at a random draw, all dangerously close to mostly disinterested bystanders. "Me_K.O! Me_K.O!"

"Yes, congratulations Miko, your friend won some fetishwear." Phil pressed on. "It should arrive within three to four weeks."

Miko punched Five in the arm, "Yo Fives, would it be easier for you if they just shipped it directly to my house?"

"Miko, I won, I was planning on keeping it."

She recoiled as if it was her who was struck. "What? Fii-iive, I thought we had an agreement. We team up, we win, I get the sweet costume, and _everyone_ gets to see me in it! Win-win- _win!_ "

**What Would Five Do?**

  * [**A:** Get a big fight going.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760013/chapters/66000859)
  * [**B:** Try to politely excuse themselves.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760013/chapters/66001453)



**Note:** That was maybe a _little_ hard on Mitch, but c'mon. There is more to that story if I get around to it...


	2. A: Throwdown Showdown

"You know what, Miko?" Five activated his gauntlet and without warning fired a tremendous blast at his best friend Miko. " _...I think I'll keep it!_ "

Miko deftly leapt out of the way, activating her own gauntlet and landing fully battle-ready. "I always knew it would come down to this." She materialized an impossibly large hammer and launched herself into combat.

An entirely contrived and pointless super-hero-style battle at their place of work ensued causing no serious injuries to the crowd of coworkers around them, but considerable property damage; Bergy's oversized keyboard was nearly unrecognizable. It was all very flashy and technically impressive, but left no lasting impression on any of the onlookers.

"Alright, that's enough." Phil fiddled with his own gauntlet, Miko and Five's equipment evaporate into the digital either. "You're both fired. And you never worked here." A mind-wiping flash left them in a stupor. "Bergy, you get the anime costume."

Miko quickly recovered. "C'mon Phil, it's not that..." she surveyed the devastation. " _Things_ can be replaced, it's the _people_ that really matter! And you know that flash stuff doesn't work on me, anyway!"

"I know. We have contingencies. Zahra, execute the Flintstone protocol."

"Huh?" Miko began to turn but wasn't fast enough to avoid the bowling ball that appeared in Zahra's hands. Darkness took her.

"Huh? Wha-?" Five was the first to come to, the pair alone on the sidewalk outside the strip mall. Their clothes fit oddly, as if they'd been hastily dressed by others. "Miko, what are we doing here? Everything's closed... what time even is it? "

"Quoi? Who is this Miko?" Miko replied in a bad French accent "I am Emiko LaFleur, fameux cheese-puff heiress by day, feared cat burguleur by nuit!"

"What?"

**Fin**

**Note:** 'Bad ending'. Did you click 'Next Chapter', like a normal person?

Ehhh, on the fence with these non-endings; they're kinda fun, sometimes, I guess. If you have opinions, pass 'em on.


	3. B: Oral Arguments

Five was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the scene unfolding amid his friends and co-workers. "Thanks Phil, I'm just gonna..." He politely smiled to his interrupted boss and gestured to the exit, hoping to lead Miko away somewhere more private before they settled the matter of the skimpy silken swag. "I never agreed to that Miko. And you didn't offer to share your prize." Miko had already polished off her fourth runner-up assortment of gourmet imported chocolate and cheeses, wearing the empty gift basket on her head.

"Alright. Congratulations Five and/or Miko. That means our grand-prize winner of a ticket on Hinobi's debut commercial space flight is-"

" **Nobody cares, Phil!** " Miko insisted as Five dragged her away.

"Space, pfft, they're only going to orbit. What's there to do?" She clearly wasn't all that upset with the situation, but Five had already mostly decided to let her have the costume. What was he going to do with it anyway (besides pleasure himself to it once or twice)? He didn't want to just _let_ her have it, however. Especially not after that embarrassing display. Now that they had privacy he wanted to have at least some fun.... tease her, just a bit.

"Alright Miko, let's talk this out. Why should _I_ give you _my_ prize? You didn't even play the game, I finished all _twenty-seven_ endings. You don't even know the deep philosophical concepts that gothic lolita dress represents."

"Deep _my butt_. Speaking of, only one of us has the booty to pull it off. Not that you wouldn't look cute trying..."

"Maybe I could sell it? There must be some collector-"

"You _wouldn't!_ How could you put a price on a piece of game _history?!_ "

"'How could I put a price on a piece of game history you're _so close_ to getting for free', you mean." Five grinned at her.

Miko stared Daggers of Time back at him. "How 'bout I offer something _better_ than money: personal favors?"

Five chuckled. "Well what is this thing really worth to you?" He wasn't interested in a real payment, but maybe she'd come up with something amusing. Or embarrassing. Just a little.

She sighed heavily, and took a moment to think. "You could let me take over smuggling hair product to Mitch?"

"I already stopped doing that anyway."

"I could work some shifts in your Family's Fabulous Foodtruck?"

"You know how to cook?"

"I could let you fuck me in the ass?"

"Mi- bwa?" Five's brain needed a hard reset. He was quite flustered once he regained his faculties. "Geez Miko, that's not funny."

"I'm _totally serious_." It didn't help things when she leaned in close and continued. "You get to put your dick in my big beautiful butt, I get the outfit. Everyone's happy."

"That's not... Wouldn't that be weird?"

"What's weird about it? I'm not saying I'd go out on a date with you, just a quick, casual, bomp in the bottom. No biggie." She nonchalantly placed a hand on his crotch. "Well, maybe one biggie, depending on what you're packing. And my butt, that's pretty biggie. A manageable amount of biggies."

"When- How- Should we _really_ do this?"

"Now's good. Training room's probably free. _Absolutely_."

"Computer, run program 'Miko's Bed 1, lights on. Five, watch your step." The sterile room around them disappeared in a sea of roiling plixels, replaced by a pristine meadow. There was a cliff at their back, and trees all around in the near distance. A steady breeze gently rustled the tall grasses and wildflowers. In the center of the room was Miko's bed, identical to her real-life bed at home. The door behind them was subsumed by a pounding waterfall (which, unlike most waterfalls, was whisper quiet) quickly refilling the dry riverbed Five found himself standing in up to his knees.

He emerged from the virtual river and blinding mists still bone-dry just in time to see Miko shoving a large, body-sized pillow with some kind of graphic under the bed, a bag she'd retrieved from her locker tossed on top. "Wow, this is pretty cool. Did you make all this?"

Miko reclined on the bed in a pose a bit too goofy to be called seductive. "Yeah, but it's mostly an asset flip. I nap in here sometimes."

"Aren't you worried about Phil coming down here and busting you?"

"What's he gonna see if he opens the door, back of the waterfall. By the time he calls in a plumber I can sneak out the back or something."

"Is there a 'back' in here?"

"Sure? And we can come and go here as we please now because we made that dupe of Phil's access card last month."

Five replied, confused, "I know. I was there."

"Yeah but if you didn't know now you do. _So_ , let's uh, see what I'm going to be working with." she said, gesturing to his crotch.

In all the unnecessary setup, Five's nervous excitement (and semi-chub) had mostly dissipated. Now it all came back. He and Miko were about to... _do stuff._ He swallowed, and slowly unzipped his jumpsuit.

"Yeah Ba-bee, that's how momma likes it." Miko whistled. "Now turn around, and show me dat _ass_!" she added in a lecherous, disturbingly phlegmy voice.

Five complied, only partly to hide his blush, and shrugged out of the jumpsuit, letting it fall to the floor revealing a scandalous t-shirt and boxers.

"Wait time out are we supposed to wear stuff under these things? I thought they _were_ the underwear?"

Five turned back around and struggled to formulate a reply before he saw Miko's jaw drop.

" _I'm sorry_ , do you have a Lynx in there or something?!"

He caught the reference to the short-lived 1989 handheld and became the person proudest ever to be associated with the device. "Meow," he said, freeing himself, with some difficulty, from his boxers.

"Holy _Shadow of the Cocklossus_!" Miko sat up straight. "Where have you been hiding that thing?! Seriously, you're in a speedsuit half the day, how does that even work?!?"

"I honestly think they put some sort of magic-techy-nonesense in the crotch of these things. It _doesn't_ seem natural."

"So you're saying Hinobi's also sitting on boner-cloaking technology? Wonder how much they spent on _that._ " She got up and came around Five, shoving him down onto the bed before settling to her knees before him. "I gotta get a better look at this thing, I'm sure you don't mind?"

"Help yourself," he managed to say.

Miko wrapped a hand around Five's length, jerking him around. "Woah dude, you're Souls hard!" The thickness wasn't anything too out of the ordinary, but the length was significant; it was proportioned much like Five himself.

He smirked. "Feeling intimidated? Perhaps having second thoughts?"

She chuckled. "You underestimate me. Sure it's impressive for flesh and blood, but silicone has long since eclipsed the achievements of weak man-flesh. Still... can I get a taste of this? For scientific purposes. No extra charge. Free DLC."

Five's heart skipped a beat and he nodded, giving his friend permission to blow him. Miko didn't hesitate to fill her mouth with cock. She eagerly bobbed her head, lips sealing him inside her hot, wet mouth; he still had room at his base for her hand to keep a firm grip. He stared down as his dick disappeared into her cute face. Her tongue was putting in a lot of effort; Five wondered how literal she was when she asked for a 'taste'. She hummed around him. It seemed she wasn't disappointed.

"Miko..." This was weird. He knew Miko was a girl, and he definitely knew she was attractive, but she was also Miko his friend, Miko his coworker, Miko who'd had his back in (probably, possibly?) life-and-death situations. And now Miko who was giving him his first (awesome) blowjob. She seemed to be taking this new path in their friendship very seriously.

"Hmm*pop*aaa..." She pulled back, jerking him furiously. "Not bad, huh? I think I'm ready for a higher difficulty. Hold my hair."

Not quite clear what she meant, Five grabbed as much of her hair as he could and tried to hold on to it without restricting her movement. Miko then dove at his dick, taking an impressive amount of cock deep in her throat in one go, immediately gagging and pulling back.

"Guh-huwaauck! Woah. Hang on, I got this." Again she dove forward, holding most of his length in her throat for a brief moment this time, before again violently gagging and pulling back, eyes now full of tears. "Wow. Okay. Okay." She showed no more hesitation before repeating the process several more times, not losing any determination but not showing any improvement either.

"Miko, come on. You don't... have to..." She wouldn't slow down. Five tried to gently hold her back by her hair, but was also scared of hurting her (or himself). She was still making him feel pretty good, but he worried she was going to make herself sick or injure her throat (or, more likely, himself). "Miko, really, you're doing great but wouldn't you like me to, uh, reciprocate?"

"Hauuu-auck! Haaa. Recip- *cough* Reciprocate? Looking to go _Spelunker/y-_ ing Five? Tell my _Dōkutsu_ a _Monogatari,_ all up close?"

"No charge. I'm free-to-play."

"Gross, Five. Hmmm..." Her smile broadened, and as she stood she slowly unzipped her jumpsuit, exposing a lot of bare skin but leaving it in place over the 'naughty bits'. "I suppose it would only be fair to let you explore a bit yourself, if you _insist_." She hopped up on the bed, legs splayed out. Instead of removing any more jumpsuit, she simply tore the crotch of it open to grant access. Hinobi was very generous with free replacements.  


Five took a moment to admire Miko laying there on her bed. Hair, and knees, spread out, seemingly without care. She had an odd look on her face. His eyes followed the trail from her neck, between her very modest but gravity-defiant breasts, along her firm abdomen, down to her groin fully exposed but for a coyly placed hand. He looked back to her face, only then reading an expression he wasn't used to associating with Miko; she was a bit shy.

"...we don't have to do this Miko, you can have the costume. It's alright."

"Aw Five, don't play me like that! We had an arrangement, you're _not_ backing out on my turn!" She did seem shy, for Miko, but also eager.

"Sorry."  He knelt on the bed between her feet. "I'm just a bit intimidated, I've never done anything like this before, you know." He only brought up his own lack of confidence to reassure her, but it was sincere. He felt totally in over his head. This wasn't like skipping a tutorial mission. It wasn't forgetting to read the back of the box.  


This was when they _stopped including paper manuals_.

"I've never exactly had a full flight stick down my throat either, you'll learn. Now, get all down in there!" She finally did remove her hand, placing it somewhat stiffly at her side.

Five leaned in. There was his friend; bare, beautiful, plump. It was a lot to take in, mentally. He very nearly hardlocked right there before deciding to purge all thought from his mind and 'get down in there'.

Now his mouth was on her, mapping out the new area by tongue. And now instead of just staring at his bare friend, he was _tasting_ her. He found it was a very odd situation to be in. Keeping a clear mind would have been impossible, if he had any idea what he _should_ be thinking about at this point.

"Mmmm. Not bad, Five, not bad at all. Lick-it, tongue! Licky, licky! Feel free to get some fingies up in there, too."

He lapped at her for a few moments before her words worked their way through his mind. He briefly freed up his mouth to moisten his first two fingers, and began to prod tenderly at Miko's opening.  


"Come on dude, you _don't_ have to be gentle."

Five looked up from his tongue work and saw the raw lust on Miko's face. So he sent his fingers in deep, and tried his best not to be gentle (he was still pretty hesitant).

"Oooh, that's nice. Yeah... Hooo." Miko, hands still clutched stiffly at her sides (though no longer because she was nervous), started humping into him. Five tried his best to keep up his assault.

"Haaa! Five! Do you remember that trick I taught you to win at Hinobi Party?"

It was a simple trick for any mashing-focused minigame; instead of pushing the button in and out you hold the controller in your off hand, curl your index finger on your dominant hand, then rapidly rub your second knuckle back and forth over the button.

Five lifted his head in confusion. "Yeah, I remember?"

"Mash my button, Five."

Five complied.

"Aaa _aaa_ aaa~ AHHHHN!" She didn't last long after that. "Auw, _fuck!_ Yeah! Auhmmm. _Fuu-huck! Cum... Get!_ " Miko thrashed about on the bed while Five tried his best to hang on.

"Hah. Haaaaaa.... Okay Five, that's... enough, that's enough..." she said, finally coming to her senses. "You did good, kid. Jus, hoo, gimmie a minute... Get the, uh, stuff out the bag... if you're looking for something to do. Tube."

Five had ( _somehow_ ) forgotten the mysterious drawstring bag Miko had fetched from her locker before this adventure began. He retrieved it from the foot of the bed, peeked inside, and despite recent interactions immediately flushed in extreme embarrassment.

"Miko, why do you have these things at work?" He was staring, transfixed, into the bag. A pillow plopped gently onto the bed somewhere behind him, followed by Miko's full prone weight. 

"I toldja..." she grabbed the bag from him and dumped out the small but varied collection of sex toys and paraphernalia, "I take naps in here sometimes. Wanna 'broaden your horizons' while we're going at it?" she waved an intimidating plug in his direction.

"Uhm... no thanks. Maybe next time."

"Oh well." She shrugged and retrieved a large tube from the pile and handed it to him "Here, lube me up, dude!"

**What should Five do?**

  * [**C:** Bang that booty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760013/chapters/66204134)
  * [**D:** Plea for pussy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760013/chapters/66320257) (mostly copy-pasted from 'A')
  * [**E:** "Look, over there!"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760013/chapters/66372578)




	4. C: Big Butt Banging

Hector "High-Five" Nieves was a feminist. He didn't consider women objects to be obtained, or conquests to be won. Physical beauty was but one small, highly subjective, facet of a person.

Miko "Me_K.O." Kubota was a person he knew very well. There was so much about her that he respected and admired, and he was truly proud to be her friend.

He thought of this as he knelt behind his friend and tore away more of her jumpsuit, seriously debating if his favorite thing about Miko was her truly magnificent ass.

She was a soul warming sunrise and sunset, side-by-side. She was two big scoops of ice cream he never wanted to melt no matter how much he licked. She made him feel that if a cataclysmic event should split the earth in two and leave the hemispheres side-by-side, the momentary beauty would be worth the imminent extinction. He wanted to become a speck of dust so that he may live out his life on her ass, daily commuting from one peak to another, probably needing to have all his food delivered because a farming setup wasn't really feasible, least of all because the sun doesn't often shine-

Miko felt the drop of water on her cheek. "Five, are you crying?"

" _Yes._ " Five hungrily groped her ass. He squeezed, he jiggled, he bounced, he rubbed. He favored her with a tender kiss. "I love you."

Miko snorted. "Are you talking to me, or my butt?

" _Yes._ " Eventually he regained the willpower to free a hand and grab the lube. He popped it open and let it drizzle, massaging it into her now shiny slick cheeks. Finally having contented himself with sidequests (for now), he spread the slicked spheres to reveal his true objective: Miko's tight anus. Spilling more lube, he offered up two fingers which she easily accepted.

"Go ahead, dude, I'm ret-2-go!"

"It's dangerous to go alone..." Five mounted his friend, lubing his furiously hard dick and aiming it at her anus " _...take this!_ " He slid his searing length deep in Miko's ass in one slow steady thrust.

"Uuhhnn!"

"Oh!" Five could only hold himself in Miko's tight but welcoming, oh so hot ass, his pelvis fit snugly against her firm cheeks. Then she clenched around him and he lost himself completely, his Splattershot going off and unloading into her. "Oh-ho- _oooo_..."

"Is that world record? Can I submit that run to GDQ? Would they let us do that at the next event?"

Five knew their was no malice behind her words, so he probably wouldn't have taken offense even if he weren't still throbbing with arousal and determined to continue.

"Don't worry..." he needed only a moment to compose himself before pulling back, "I got another life!" He slammed his cock back in. There was a glimmer of doubt in the back of his mind, but his cock showed no signs of hesitation. The rapturous pressure of her ass, and welcoming pleasure of her booty filled him with Determination. Soon he was pounding into Miko with all he had; not trying to prove himself, really, but he couldn't have been fucking her harder right now if he was.

"Ufff... Wow, Five, UFH! You're... uhn... Five! Fuck!" Miko aggressively ground herself into the pillow while Five pounded her behind. "Is this... auung! Is this your final form? AH!"

The only reply for several moments was the sound of Five slapping into her butt. "I'm... on my last... health bar..."

"Uh!" Miko clawed at the sheets, they may have been torn apart were they real. "Oh, fuck Five, uhngk! Dang, dude, you're AH! Real dicks are the next gen! Fuck! FUCK! Fuck! BARF!" Her body seized up and she came hard.

"Miko! Miko!" Five buried his face in her luxurious hair, still pumping, and marveled that he made his best friend come while fucking her spectacular ass. He erupted again, F.L.U.D.D-ing her ass with semen. He assumed at the time that this was the strongest he'd ever come in his life, and for a significant amount of time wondered if he'd ever regain his vision before his ammo was spent and he collapsed at her side.

They lay there a while catching their breath. Five turned to Miko, clasped her hand, brushed the hair from her face and leaned in to kiss her.

"Whoa, dude!" Miko Jerked back, "I'm not that kind of girl!"

"Sorry..." Five said, blushing, more confused than hurt.

"It's alright, doofus. You did really good, 'S' rank, but this is a casual-friendshipy-type thing, not a romancy-mushy-type thing, remember?"

"No, you're right..." He lay there, staring deep into his very close friend's eyes. She seemed her usual cheerful self, despite his just unloading twice in her ass. Five wasn't quite as confident. "...should we have done this? This isn't going to make things weird, is it?"

"No, 'course not! Not unless you consider maybe busting a move in me every now and then weird. Because we've gotta do that again!"

Five smiled. "No. That wouldn't be weird at all."

They lay in Miko's make-believe meadow as the motion-sensor controlled sun set and tried not to doze off (they were technically still at work).

Three-to-four weeks later the prize arrived. Five delivered it to Miko's house, per their agreement, and waited just outside her room while she tried it on for the first time.

"Okay Five, come on in and tell me how it looks!"

"Wow." He stood just inside the door, awestruck. Miko looked _amazing_. She was so much thicker than not2B could ever hope to be, though her chest was far more modest (certainly more modest than in some of the fan videos he was familiar with), but the costume still improbably fit like it was made for her. She gave a dramatic spin, throwing in a few dangerous kicks for fun, and the fluttering skirt rendered the tight black dress borderline obscene.

"Is it true you can see my butthole?" Miko turned away from him, bending nearly in half and waggled her buttocks inquisitively.

"Um..." Five swallowed. "Yeah, you can see something there..."

"Yes! _I knew it!_ " Miko was oddly, thoroughly, pleased.

Five locked the door behind him, approaching to groping range and taking a couple handfuls of the offered posterior. "Should we, you know, break it in?"

Miko spun back around and swatted at his hands (though she missed both). "Heck no! This outfit will never be 'broken in'; I'm going to get _married_ in this thing! I'm gonna have them _bury me_ in it! My kid's _kid's_ are gonna get married in it, boys and girls!"

Five just stared.

"I mean, if you _really_ want..." she swung her arms wide and pulled him in to a loose hug, pressing her crotch against his. "I _guess_ I could take it off and you could put your dick in me before my family gets home. Then we can go out, get a bucket of pasta or something, and show it off. The dress, I mean, not your dick."

Five smiled, grabbing her behind again and pulling them closer together. "I still can't believe we've, um, _deepened_ our friendship like this..."

"Believe it, buddy-boy. This ship is canon now."

Five laughed. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Miko pulled away for dramatic effect. "No, I'm serious, this is us now. This is happening. This is the new canon."

"What are you talking bout?" Five said, puzzled.

"This is _it_. Nick already basically cancelled us once, and Netflix isn't going to give a season three to a show they don't own."

"Nick? Nick who? What's a 'Netflick'?"

Miko was manically pacing about the room now, "I mean, I know we're no She-Ra, but not everyone can be She-Ra. Not everyone _should_ be She-Ra! I wouldn't say no to a kick-ass reboot thirty years from now, of course..."

"She- Miko, please calm down, you're scaring me.'

She stopped, taking a deep breath. "No, it's OK. It's not even all that bad; you're dicking me pretty good on the regs. And there's still hope, if they ever get the pandemic under control..."

"Miko what the heck are you talking about?"

She took a commanding stance, hands on her hips, (which made her ass in that skirt look even more heavenly) "Come on, Netflix, prove me wrong. If this _isn't_ canon, _prove me wrong!"_

"Miko, you're talking to a wall."

"Ha," she laughed, turning back around, "I can't see a dang thing in this blindfold."

**Epilogue**

Five slipped alone into the training room.

"Computer, run program 'Miko's Bed 1'?" Nothing happened. He walked over to the physical controls and spent a few minutes digging before finally finding and activating Miko's 'nap hack'. The perfectly tranquil meadow surrounded him, Miko's bed close by.

He approached the bed, the _dakimakura_ was mostly covered by blanket. A moment of final doubt froze his hand as he gripped the blanket. Was this going too far? It is an invasion of privacy, no matter how you look at it... but he just wanted to know his friend better, really. And he's already come this far...

[He pulled back the blanket...](https://baraag.net/system/media_attachments/files/105/125/569/742/407/218/original/1e08fada95d14ad8.png)

**To Be Continued?**

**Next Time: Five finds out how Ceres Station felt.**

**Note:** The views expressed by this Miko do not represent those of the author, the _real_ Glitch Techs, or any objective reality.


	5. D: Plump Pussy Pleasing

"Miko... I don't want to pressure you or anything, it's not a problem really, but are you sure you want to use... your butt?"

"Yeah man, I told you I'm fine with it. You've seen my butt plug, I can take whatever you got."

"No, I mean... what if we had, y'know, _regular..._ "

"Oh. I gotcha. Hmm." She thought for a moment. "I guess it's not _that_ different. We are still keeping this a casual thing?"

"Yes, casual. No strings, no... stuff."

Miko sat up to face him as they re-entered negotiations. "You got a condom?"

Five frowned. He knew he really should, it's the responsible thing to do? But he never imagined being in a situation like this (certainly not _this_ situation, with _Miko_ ). He always assumed he'd be a few dates in at least before he needed to have this conversation.

"Um, no. You don't, in your, uh, bag?"

"Five my bag boys don't need rubbers. And I don't exactly offer this kind of service to just anyone; take that as a compliment." She thought for a moment, then held out her hand. "Computer, you got a condom?"

There was a chirp, and a small foil packet materialized in Miko's hand.

"Ha, voy-la. What will Hinobi think of next?"

Five stared at the plixigonal prophylactic, perplexed. "Is that thing going to work?"

"Yeah, probably."

Five stared at Miko with _great_ apprehension.

She laughed, "Relax, this is hardly my last line of defense. I'm just a little unsure about..." this was another rare moment where Miko showed less than total confidence, "...getting your jizz all up in my bizz...'

Five felt bad, but wasn't sure why. He decided the thing to do was to take the condom from Miko's hand and tear it open. The foil immediately de-rezzed, the condom appearing snug around his only slightly sagging schlong. It tingled.

"There ya go, Champ!" Miko flopped back onto the bed, propping her head on her arms. "Let's do this thing."

Hector "High-Five" Nieves was a feminist. He didn't consider women objects to be obtained, or conquests to be won. Physical beauty was but one small, highly subjective, facet of a person.

Miko "Me_K.O." Kubota was a person he knew very well. There was so much about her that he respected and admired, and he was truly proud to be her friend.

He thought of this as he knelt behind his friend and tore away more of her jumpsuit, seriously debating if his favorite thing about Miko was her truly magnificent ass.

She was a soul warming sunrise and sunset, side-by-side. She was two big scoops of ice cream he never wanted to melt no matter how much he licked. She made him feel that if a cataclysmic event should split the earth in two and leave the hemispheres side-by-side, the momentary beauty would be worth the imminent extinction. He wanted to become a speck of dust so that he may live out his life on her ass, daily commuting from one peak to another, probably needing to have all his food delivered because a farming setup wasn't really feasible, least of all because the sun doesn't often shine-

Miko felt the drop of water on her cheek. "Five, are you crying?"

" _Yes._ " Five hungrily groped her ass. He squeezed, he jiggled, he bounced, he rubbed. He favored her with a tender kiss. "I love you."

Miko snorted. "Are you talking to me, or my butt?

" _Yes._ " Five gripped her cheeks and pulled spread them apart. He gave her pussy another long, lingering lick before slipping his fingers back inside.

"Doesn't look like we'll be needing that lube after all, dude. I'm ret-2-go!"

"It's dangerous to go alone..." Five mounted his friend, grasping his furiously hard dick, still snugly but comfortably wrapped, positioning it to penetrate her pussy " _...take this!_ " He slid his searing length deep into Miko in one slow steady thrust.

"Uuhhnn!"

"Oh!" Five could only hold himself inside Miko; she was so tight but welcoming, oh so hot. His pelvis fit snugly against her firm cheeks. Then she clenched around him and he lost himself completely, his Splattershot going off and unloading into the condom. "Oh-ho- _oooo_..."

"Is that world record? Can I submit that run to GDQ? Would they let us do that at the next event?"

Five knew their was no malice behind her words, so he probably wouldn't have taken offense even if he weren't still throbbing with arousal and determined to continue.

"Don't worry..." he needed only a moment to compose himself before pulling back, "I got another life!" He slammed his cock back in. There was a glimmer of doubt in the back of his mind, but his cock showed no signs of hesitation. Her rapturous pressure, and welcoming pleasure of her booty filled him with Determination. Soon he was pounding into Miko with all he had; not trying to prove himself, really, but he couldn't have been fucking her harder right now if he was.

"Ufff... Wow, Five, UFH! You're... uhn... Five! Fuck!" Miko aggressively ground herself into the pillow while Five pounded into her from behind. "Is this... auung! Is this your final form? AH!"

The only reply for several moments was the sound of Five slapping into her butt. "I'm... on my last... health bar..."

"Uh!" Miko clawed at the sheets, they may have been torn apart were they real. "Oh, fuck Five, uhngk! Dang, dude, you're AH! Real dicks are the next gen! Fuck! FUCK! Fuck! BARF!" Her body seized up and she came hard.

"Miko! Miko!" Five buried his face in her luxurious hair, still pumping, and marveled that he made his best friend come again, while humping her spectacular ass. He erupted once more, F.L.U.D.D-ing her with semen. He assumed at the time that this was the strongest he'd ever come in his life, and for a significant amount of time wondered if he'd ever regain his vision before his ammo was spent and he collapsed at her side.

They lay there a while catching their breath. Five pulled off the condom, which looked to be in one piece and quite full. It even seemed to have sealed itself after being removed. He placed it aside for the moment.

"Wow, Five, that was really... wow." Miko snuggled in close to Five, bringing her face very close, locking eyes with him. "You were so... _special._ I think, I..." She licked her lips, bringing them in close, closer...

Five's heart stopped for a bit.

"Ha! JK, ya goober. You did really good, 'S' rank, but this is a casual-friendshipy-type thing, not a romancy-mushy-type thing, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah, right... good one." Five thought he was more relieved than disappointed, but he wasn't totally sure. He lay there, staring deep into his very close friend's eyes. She seemed her usual cheerful self, despite his just unloading twice inside her. Five wasn't quite as confident. "...should we have done this? This isn't going to make things weird, is it?"

"No, 'course not! Not unless you consider maybe busting a move in me every now and then weird. Because we've gotta do that again!"

Five smiled. "No. That wouldn't be weird at all."

They lay in Miko's make-believe meadow as the motion-sensor controlled sun set and tried not to doze off (they were technically still at work).

Once they were ready to leave and de-rezzed the room, they realized they couldn't find the condom or, perhaps more worrying, the two loads inside. With the room back to its usual bare state, short of disassembling the floor there wasn't really anywhere to look.

Three-to-four weeks later the prize arrived. Five delivered it to Miko's house, per their agreement, and waited just outside her room while she tried it on for the first time.

"Okay Five, come on in and tell me how it looks!"

"Wow." He stood just inside the door, awestruck. Miko looked _amazing_. She was so much thicker than not2B could ever hope to be, though her chest was far more modest (certainly more modest than in some of the fan videos he was familiar with), but the costume still improbably fit like it was made for her. She gave a dramatic spin, throwing in a few dangerous kicks for fun, and the fluttering skirt rendered the tight black dress borderline obscene.

"Is it true you can see my butthole?" Miko turned away from him, bending nearly in half and waggled her buttocks inquisitively.

"Um..." Five swallowed. "Yeah, you can see something there..."

"Yes! _I knew it!_ " Miko was oddly, thoroughly, pleased.

Five locked the door behind him, approaching to groping range and taking a couple handfuls of the offered posterior. "Should we, you know, break it in?"

Miko spun back around and swatted at his hands (though she missed both). "Heck no! This outfit will never be 'broken in'; I'm going to get _married_ in this thing! I'm gonna have them _bury me_ in it! My kid's _kid's_ are gonna get married in it, boys and girls!"

Five just stared.

"I mean, if you _really_ want..." she swung her arms wide and pulled him in to a loose hug, pressing her crotch against his. "I _guess_ I could take it off and you could put your dick in me before my family gets home. Then we can go out, get a bucket of pasta or something, and show it off. The dress, I mean, not your dick."

Five smiled, grabbing her behind again and pulling them closer together. "I still can't believe we've, um, _deepened_ our friendship like this..."

"Believe it, buddy-boy. This ship is canon now."

Five laughed. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Miko pulled away for dramatic effect. "No, I'm serious, this is us now. This is happening. This is the new canon."

"What are you talking bout?" Five said, puzzled.

"This is _it_. Nick already basically cancelled us once, and Netflix isn't going to give a season three to a show they don't own."

"Nick? Nick who? What's a 'Netflick'?"

Miko was manically pacing about the room now, "I mean, I know we're no She-Ra, but not everyone can be She-Ra. Not everyone _should_ be She-Ra! I wouldn't say no to a kick-ass reboot thirty years from now, of course..."

"She- Miko, please calm down, you're scaring me.'

She stopped, taking a deep breath. "No, it's OK. It's not even all that bad; you're dicking me pretty good on the regs. And there's still hope, if they ever get the pandemic under control..."

"Miko what the heck are you talking about?"

She took a commanding stance, hands on her hips, (which made her ass in that skirt look even more heavenly) "Come on, Netflix, prove me wrong. If this _isn't_ canon, _prove me wrong!"_

"Miko, you're talking to a wall."

"Ha," she laughed, turning back around, "I can't see a dang thing in this blindfold."

**Epilogue**

Five slipped alone into the training room.

"Computer, run program 'Miko's Bed 1'?" Nothing happened. He walked over to the physical controls and spent a few minutes digging before finally finding and activating Miko's 'nap hack'. The perfectly tranquil meadow surrounded him, Miko's bed close by.

He approached the bed, the _dakimakura_ was mostly covered by blanket. A moment of final doubt froze his hand as he gripped the blanket. Was this going too far? It is an invasion of privacy, no matter how you look at it... but he just wanted to know his friend better, really. And he's already come this far...

[He pulled back the blanket...](https://baraag.net/system/media_attachments/files/105/125/569/742/407/218/original/1e08fada95d14ad8.png)

**To Be Continued?**

**Next Time: Five finds out how Ceres Station felt.**

**Note:** The views expressed by this Miko do not represent those of the author, the _real_ Glitch Techs, or any objective reality.


	6. E: Shadows of Deceit

"What the heck is that?" Five leveled a finger-pointing worthy of a true ace attorney at the far end of the room. Miko lazily turned her head; by the time she realized anything was up Five had already grabbed his boxers from the floor and dashed through the digital waterfall.

He was out in the hallway before he dared slow down enough to get both legs back in his underwear. This wasn't breaking their agreement, he reasoned with himself. They did 'stuff', but he never fully accepted her offer. And he more than reciprocated... Ultimately, this was on Miko. She was right.

"I will look _damn cute_ in that costume!"

And he did. Everyone agreed. Miko couldn't even bring herself to be mad.

**The End**

**Note:** A 'neutral' ending. Like it? Don't? Either way it goes nowhere. Those are good too?

(again, please comment if you have an opinion on the non-endings, it's the only way I'll stop)


End file.
